Victoria Communicaton

Communication skills are definitely the most important skills required in anyone’s relationship whether it be intimate or family relationships, friend relationships or career relationships. So what we need is to find out what these skills consist of and start up with communication skills training. For building relationships that are good in quality, we need to be good communicators. Below I’ll identify some areas of communication that most of us need to develop.

I’m pretty sure you’ve noticed that a lot of people don’t even answer their phones and others hesitates to reply to an email while others have problems with direct communication and are avoiding this by writing lots of emails instead? For some reason this seems more safe and more comfortable. But is it good communication?

Staffs in most businesses today are required more than ever to communicate with colleges and customers about things that are natural to communicate about in each business or industry context. But the sad thing is that our communication skills can be so much better. Based on this fact it’s not surprising at all that many organizational experts claim that poor communication is the cause of a large number of organisational problems.

Most of us need to gain an understanding of what effective communication means and what is required to develop good communication. Besides that we must also pay closer attention to the fact that many of us have not given it much thought; communication with different types of people requires different ways of communicating. Below are the main issues that should be included in a general communication skills development program:
Define communication – We have to ask what communication really is, which purposes it has as well as identifying the fundamentals and various methods of communication Communicating with Different People – People are different and our relationships are also different. You must learn to communicate effectively with supervisors, subordinates, colleagues, customers, vendors, your wife, your children and your friends etc. Develop listening Skills – Training to be and active listener will develop a greater understanding of the other and thus improve your communication. Developing speaking skills – to be a good speaker can be learned. Sometimes it is necessary to communicate by giving a speech. Identify and avoid barriers to communication – We must also learn to adjust our communication to suit different knowledge levels Improve communication via email – Effective communication via email is extremely important today as this way to communicate has grown tremendously, not only in working organizations but in almost all kinds of relationship. Learn to build rapport with others One-on-one or groups – Identify the differences with communicating to individuals and groups must be identified and practiced. Using questions – come into the habit of asking questions to other when you’re not absolutely sure what he or she is saying. This will increase understanding and thus improve your communication skills.

There are a huge amount of information on the internet about these issues and how to improve your different communication skills. Most of this information is available for free. You only have to do searches on relevant keywords and you will have access to big listings of websites and online documents.

By: Terje Ellingsen

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Breaking the ice to excite communication is what spins the world. Be it for trade, commerce or personal achievements mere talking has no charm. The skill to be mastered is ‘effective communication’. A person with immense knowledge and hard work is seldom successful if he does not possess inter personal skills and presentation techniques.

The first link to communication is seeded in the umbilical cord; a child’s incessant crying is a communication to be ‘heard’. The lesson is learnt well at the bud stage only to be forgotten later. If we notice the modern inventions like wireless technologies, conversation gadgets are all focusing beyond geography. Conveying can be done through machines but language and tone cannot be doctored.

The tricks to communiqu? are simple. Starting with a groomed personality you send the message of a sophisticate. This is the first step for approachability. Poise is required at all times, be it trivial matters of dispute in office or serious launch proposals. Rejecting or seconding an idea requires tact and verbal diplomacy. Saying ‘No’ effectively yet politely is a major skill in management.

All cannot be mastered at the exposure stage. This is a learning process and newer emerging situations demand alterations in the mode of communication. Prior to any presentation, ground work is essential. Make good use of the scribble pads and pencil, read through trend magazines, gauge your resources and then put forth a proposal. Every subject has pitfalls, and be prepared before the client points them out. Lacunae’s in any communication are the reasons for failure. As you fail so does your team and your dreams.

Keep the tone unaltered and language easy as you write your letters use pictorials in a presentation, flow charts are important and use the white board to explain like a dictionary. Hyphenate the problems with remedies, answer your queries well.

Whether it’s a job interview or traveling at a vacation, the charm exuded while you communicate will be well appreciated. Using clich?s and animated hype only repels others. Be genuine, sincere enough to express your apprehensions and project a confident personality. Mental blocks are myths, overcome them. Stand on the podium, control your thoughts and speak well. All one needs is to break the ice and start communicating.

By: Jennie Gandhi

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When quality, unrestricted, and thorough couple’s communication occurs it can literally transform a relationship. Concerns become known and answers are identified. Problems are discussed and solutions are determined. Desires are expressed and plans are created. Through quality communication, a relationship can improve significantly almost immediately. When couple’s communication is poor problems can snowball into the size of the iceberg that sank the Titanic! The method I am about to present to you can melt the ice that is causing your relationship to sink.

Understanding the Process

The surest way to have productive, non-confrontational communication with your partner is to do it in writing. This might sound strange or cumbersome at first, but as you read further you might come to see its value and potential.

The written word is the purest form of communication, because you are allowed to select your words as carefully as you wish without being rushed or influenced by the presence of the recipient. Then, when the recipient receives it, they are required to read and consider every word in order to get the meaning. This requires their full attention and patience. The result is a much purer transfer of thoughts with no opportunity to strike back immediately without thinking. This is the magic of this communication method.

Here is the process for this non-confrontational couple’s communication method. Start by writing down all your thoughts, concerns, and desires on paper. In other words, do an “appraisal” of your partner and relationship. Your partner should do the same. It is important that you do this activity in separate rooms or locations. This step may take a several hours or days. The next step is to exchange them, BUT read them in separate rooms or locations as well. The reasons for separation will become clear to you in the end. This next part is crucial. You must agree NOT to get back together to discuss them until any anger has dissipated, and your minds have returned to a clear and relaxed state. This may take several hours, days, or even a week or more. In addition, you must agree not to consume any alcohol or drugs during any part of the couple’s communication process. Next we’ll get into further detail on how to do your appraisal.

Appraising Your Partner & Relationship

In order for your couple’s communication appraisal to be complete, you need to start by making a list of all the possible areas that you want to consider. You might create this list with your partner, but do not have any discussions. Just create the list. Categories might include attitude, social, money, appearance, disagreements, sex, responsibilities, and dreams.

You might start the evaluation process by rating each category using words like excellent, good, or needs improvement. Follow this by adding comments to clarify your rating, offer ways to improve, or convey compliments. Also, be sure to include your personal needs, desires, and dreams in the appraisal or on a separate piece of paper.

Here are some thoughts to consider as you proceed with the appraisal. The purpose of this couple’s communication process is twofold: To give you the opportunity to evaluate the health your relationship and to provide your partner with feedback that they can use to improve themselves and your relationship. The goal is to perform an appraisal that is honest, compassionate, and free of any self-serving behavior.

Examining Each Others Appraisal

Here are some thoughts to consider before you go into your private session to examine the appraisal your partner completed on you.

First, get yourself into a mindset of looking at this activity as an extraordinary opportunity to gain self-awareness. This will require courage, the courage to face criticism directly, and evaluate it objectively without becoming defensive.

Keep in mind that what is written about you is your partner’s true feelings. Therefore, they are not arguable. You may be able to challenge some of the facts, but you cannot challenge their feelings because they are their actual perceptions.

Your focus should be on gaining understanding of their evaluation of you, and how they came to those conclusions. This will require that you put yourself in their place. Becoming defensive is not productive for your own benefit or that of the relationship.

The information contained in the appraisal holds the key to unlocking the treasure chest of gifts that your partner is capable of giving to the one they love. Do not under estimate is value!

Meeting for Enlightenment & Resolution

The final step in the couple’s communication process is to meet with your partner to discuss your appraisals. As mentioned before, it is imperative that you do not have this meeting until both partners are calm and clear-headed. Again, no alcohol or drugs are allowed during any part of the couple’s communication process.

The meeting that you will have with your partner is the most significant part of this entire process. In fact, it could produce some of the most profound communication of your entire relationship. Or even, perhaps, any relationship you have ever had!

The attitude that you take into this meeting needs to be consistent with your expectations of what you want to get out of it. In other words, if you want your partner to be open to what you put in their appraisal, you need to be open as well. If you want them to show a willingness to change, you must be willing too. If you want them to have an interest in your dreams, you must present your interest in theirs. If you want them to be responsive to your needs, you must be ready to do the same.

As you discover solutions, create plans, and identify objectives write them down as goals. Use the three (3) basic steps of goal setting, which is defining what we want to accomplish, committing to a date to have it done, and determining the steps needed to get there. Don’t miss out on this opportunity to make some real satisfying change in your self, your partner, and your relationship.

As a review, here are the three (3) steps of the couple’s communication process.

1. Appraise Your Partner & Relationship (Privately)

2. Examine Each Other’s Appraisal (Privately)

3. Meet for Enlightenment & Resolution (Together)

If you’re not sure whether your partner will participate, doing it yourself will help you with whatever issue you are facing and may encourage them to join in later. If you wanted to further inspire your partner, you could give them the completed appraisal that you did on them along with your list of needs, desires, and dreams. This would definitely spark their interest!

You can go about completing this couple’s communication process in many ways. One of the best is to get creative and turn it into a private retreat-like activity. You might even consider splitting the three (3) steps into separate weekends and/or evenings. You might also setup a reward to give yourselves at the end like a special dinner out or an overnight stay at a nice hotel.

If you really want to make it a special event, conduct the activity during a vacation or weekend getaway at a resort! Even going to a hotel near your home would be good. Go through the process during the first 1-3 days and then enjoy yourselves the rest of the time. Getting out of your normal routine and environment might create the conditions you need for a breakthrough!

That’s it. Go try it!

By: Brad Paul

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Remember when you were perhaps a few years younger – playing outside in the backyard? Enjoying the beauty of a summer morn: sun shining, birds singing, a light morning breeze ruffling the leaves of the surrounding trees and shrubs. Then all of a sudden, totally out of the blue and as a complete surprise, sitting next to a pile of leaves and just resting upon a leaf there they were!

Exposed in all their natural beauty, doing what they have done probably every day of their life. They are nothing out of the ordinary in their everyday existence; but by doing nothing out of the ordinary they have made this day in your short life extraordinary.You very slowly step closer, holding your breath so as not to cause them to be startled. Sitting on a rock surrounded by large quantities of carefully scattered and decaying leaves, and enjoying the warmth of the morning sun, sits a tiny baby blue-tongued lizard.

Not three feet away and also enjoying the same morning sun and the slight morning sea breeze that wafts across the big glossy leaves of the banana tree, is the minute figure known to us as a lady beetle. For what seems like an eternity, but what is in reality a brief moment in time, you sit and watch these two beauties of nature: eyes and thoughts switching between what is

on the ground and what hovers above it. All of a sudden and almost without knowing it, you are racing back inside to tell someone what you have just uncovered. Through the old fly wire door that you always struggle to open, sliding around the corner as you negotiate your way into the kitchen. Speed of movement and speed of voice hit maximum velocity as you pass the last of the obstacle course you have just encountered.

The words already emanating from way, way down in your throat, “Mum, Muuum!”

The words begin to flow faster and faster, way ahead of your ability to project them correctly and way quicker than you know what it is you are saying.Your mother does what she has done so many times before. She takes you into her arms and quietly but directly guides you to slow down and speak clearly and coherently. You try to slow down. But the words are still a mess to most.

This is fantastic. In fact, in your mind it is unbelievable. Crocodile Hunter look out! Mum goes at it again. “Baby take your time and tell me what it is you have seen. I can’t understand a word you are saying. Unless you talk slowly no-one is ever going to understand what it is you are trying to tell them.”

In your mind the words are coming out just right. You are saying what you want to, plenty of emotion involved. “Mum you should have .. It was this .. It was red and .. Just sitting above this really big .. I could have reached down and”

It is perfectly clear and understandable to you. But what about to others? Well what has changed in the ensuing years? And by that I am not asking if you have slowed down and become more controlled in your communication. (But you can answer it if you want to) I mean, how many times have you been involved in a situation that needn’t have become a situation but did, simply because the process of communication was not what it should have been?

Why has this situation come about? Is it because the little child has stepped forward again and not really explained him or herself particularly well? Or is it because the person on the receiving end really has not been actively involved in the communication process?

Now, before we take sides about where the problem lies and who is to blame about why the communication process has broken down, let’s just say that in most situations like this it takes two to tango.The reasons why problems stem from ineffective communication can be many and varied.It may seem like a strange subject considering this is a personal performance article.

But to be honest with you, everyone that I have ever seen become successful in any aspect of life has been an excellent communicator. Excellent communicators become involved in the process. They want to understand what the person they are communicating with is trying to say. They listen, they question, they comment, and they make sure they understand.

Likewise though, they also make sure that the message they are trying to convey is well understood by the person to whom they are directing their communication. There is no covert communication. They mean what they say and they say what they mean. They make sure there is no room for misinterpretation or misunderstanding. The people they communicate with find the experience easy and, depending on the situation, enjoyable and enlightening. Their body language and ****** expressions show the people around them that they are listening to what they have to say. They are careful not to interrupt. They listen to understand as opposed to listening so they can make their next statement of support or rebuttal.

They engage the people they are with, both through their sincerity and through their commitment to the process of communication. It is this type of skill, commitment and preparedness that will go a long way to helping you in everyday situations. Improving your ability to effectively communicate will help you in so many ways on so many days that I could not even begin to highlight them all for you. Without doubt, working to improve your ability to effectively communicate is a required discipline. However, the beauty of this discipline is that the outcomes it delivers not only benefit you, but will benefit everyone you come into contact with.

The Journey Continues!

By: Bill Nelson

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This article is about COMMUNICATION, the most important of all subjects!

Whatever we do when we interact with other people, we communicate! It simply is not possible NOT to communicate to the people around us. Our body, voice, eyes, posture, smell, feel… everything about us send out messages! And the other way around; everything we note about the other persons is ourselves receiving and interpreting messages from the other persons.

Communication can be deliberate or not. When we ask someone to give us a glass of water it is deliberate communication. The message is clear and simple, and can hardly be misunderstood: “Please give me a glass of water”. But when we meet someone we dislike we usually send out unconscious signals about our dislike. This is generally noted by the other person, even if he/she does not understand completely WHY they get a certain feeling. “I can’t help feeling that he did not like me. Was it something he said? No… I just got that feeling…” That is our receptors unconsciously picking up the message unconsciously sent by the other guy!

Communication is a skill that can be practiced and learned. Some of us have more talent and know the ways of communication by heart, while others just wonder what happened; “why did that conversation turn into a conflict?”.

Communication is also different from one culture to another. How close you stand, if you nod your head for yes, how long you keep eye contact… all those details are examples of communication things that are different in different cultures.

All the time our body and soul send out signals about what we feel, like and think about the surroundings. One very interesting thing about communication is about the interpretation of the message at the receiving side. If person A communicates with person B it is quite common that the message person B interprets is not the same that person A meant to send out! We all carry “filters” built by expectations and earlier experiences. And those “filters” are not even known by us! So before you get angry or upset by something somebody said or did; just hold for a second and say: “maybe my filters distort the message? Did I really understand what the other person meant? Did the other person really, really mean to hurt or annoy me?”. Quite often the other person did not at all want to hurt or annoy you, it was your own filters, your own interpretation of the message that messed up your communication!

The obvious first thing that comes to ones mind when the word communication is mentioned is SPOKEN LANGUAGE! Words coming out of mouths! But there is research showing that of the total message exchanged between two communicating persons words only make 7%. Seven %!!! The rest is more subtle ways of communication, like ****** expression, tone of voice, talking speed, gestures, eye contact… So you can truthfully say that the important thing in a presentation is not WHAT you say, it is HOW you say it!

Still, most of us put almost all the effort on the words we are going to say. So most of us focus 90-95% of our effort on something that contributes by only 7% to the result! Speak about spoiled effort…

So, go out and practice communication! It is one of the most important skills you can learn in this life!

By: Tomas Tilver

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