Remember when you were perhaps a few years younger – playing outside in the backyard? Enjoying the beauty of a summer morn: sun shining, birds singing, a light morning breeze ruffling the leaves of the surrounding trees and shrubs. Then all of a sudden, totally out of the blue and as a complete surprise, sitting next to a pile of leaves and just resting upon a leaf there they were!
Exposed in all their natural beauty, doing what they have done probably every day of their life. They are nothing out of the ordinary in their everyday existence; but by doing nothing out of the ordinary they have made this day in your short life extraordinary.You very slowly step closer, holding your breath so as not to cause them to be startled. Sitting on a rock surrounded by large quantities of carefully scattered and decaying leaves, and enjoying the warmth of the morning sun, sits a tiny baby blue-tongued lizard.
Not three feet away and also enjoying the same morning sun and the slight morning sea breeze that wafts across the big glossy leaves of the banana tree, is the minute figure known to us as a lady beetle. For what seems like an eternity, but what is in reality a brief moment in time, you sit and watch these two beauties of nature: eyes and thoughts switching between what is
on the ground and what hovers above it. All of a sudden and almost without knowing it, you are racing back inside to tell someone what you have just uncovered. Through the old fly wire door that you always struggle to open, sliding around the corner as you negotiate your way into the kitchen. Speed of movement and speed of voice hit maximum velocity as you pass the last of the obstacle course you have just encountered.
The words already emanating from way, way down in your throat, “Mum, Muuum!”
The words begin to flow faster and faster, way ahead of your ability to project them correctly and way quicker than you know what it is you are saying.Your mother does what she has done so many times before. She takes you into her arms and quietly but directly guides you to slow down and speak clearly and coherently. You try to slow down. But the words are still a mess to most.
This is fantastic. In fact, in your mind it is unbelievable. Crocodile Hunter look out! Mum goes at it again. “Baby take your time and tell me what it is you have seen. I can’t understand a word you are saying. Unless you talk slowly no-one is ever going to understand what it is you are trying to tell them.”
In your mind the words are coming out just right. You are saying what you want to, plenty of emotion involved. “Mum you should have .. It was this .. It was red and .. Just sitting above this really big .. I could have reached down and”
It is perfectly clear and understandable to you. But what about to others? Well what has changed in the ensuing years? And by that I am not asking if you have slowed down and become more controlled in your communication. (But you can answer it if you want to) I mean, how many times have you been involved in a situation that needn’t have become a situation but did, simply because the process of communication was not what it should have been?
Why has this situation come about? Is it because the little child has stepped forward again and not really explained him or herself particularly well? Or is it because the person on the receiving end really has not been actively involved in the communication process?
Now, before we take sides about where the problem lies and who is to blame about why the communication process has broken down, let’s just say that in most situations like this it takes two to tango.The reasons why problems stem from ineffective communication can be many and varied.It may seem like a strange subject considering this is a personal performance article.
But to be honest with you, everyone that I have ever seen become successful in any aspect of life has been an excellent communicator. Excellent communicators become involved in the process. They want to understand what the person they are communicating with is trying to say. They listen, they question, they comment, and they make sure they understand.
Likewise though, they also make sure that the message they are trying to convey is well understood by the person to whom they are directing their communication. There is no covert communication. They mean what they say and they say what they mean. They make sure there is no room for misinterpretation or misunderstanding. The people they communicate with find the experience easy and, depending on the situation, enjoyable and enlightening. Their body language and ****** expressions show the people around them that they are listening to what they have to say. They are careful not to interrupt. They listen to understand as opposed to listening so they can make their next statement of support or rebuttal.
They engage the people they are with, both through their sincerity and through their commitment to the process of communication. It is this type of skill, commitment and preparedness that will go a long way to helping you in everyday situations. Improving your ability to effectively communicate will help you in so many ways on so many days that I could not even begin to highlight them all for you. Without doubt, working to improve your ability to effectively communicate is a required discipline. However, the beauty of this discipline is that the outcomes it delivers not only benefit you, but will benefit everyone you come into contact with.
The Journey Continues!
By: Bill Nelson
About the Author:
Bill Nelson is an elite international sporting coach who has turned his knowledge of developing peak team and individual performance into a world-class corporate consultancy, Total Performance Concepts Pty Ltd.
Bill’s wisdom on the science of motivation, performance coaching and team building has been utilised by business organizations, defense forces, the real estate and telecommunications industries, educational institutions, local government, numerous businesses and elite sporting programs throughout the world.
Popularity: 1% [?]
